Creative progress is not something easy to control. Sometimes you move forward and sometimes you stand still. At the moment I am standing still. I hate standing still. I become afraid I will not move forward again the longer I stand still. Can you relate?
I am in the middle of creating several new pieces of music using clarinet. The framework of these pieces is founded in classical music but I am transforming them into new modern shapes using all kinds of toys found in the recording studio.
The freedom to create musically is exhilarating and foreign to me. For years I have lived in the confines of classical music and what appears on the written page. But now I wish to create my own pieces using my imagination as the guiding light and largely without the structure that classical music provides.
I have always wanted to find a way to create a more popular style that includes classical elements into it. I want the clarinet to be used in more popular music and to be more accessible and interesting to those who never have really listened to it before.
But my creativity is cyclical and when its flow has stopped I begin to fear it will never come back. No matter how many times I go through this process, the fear still manages to convince me, for some period of time, that I will never be creative again. And then of course, it fades away and what appears next is usually a new perspective and a new creative direction.
Why do we doubt our power as creative spirits? Why as creative individuals do we feel this need to define our souls by the creativity we produce? Perhaps we let out ego’s take over or perhaps as sensitive creatures we allow our self esteem to be impacted by our impatience, high expectations, and perfectionism. Or perhaps we simply don’t spend enough time focusing on the things that are important to us to allow our creativity to flow.
When I find myself standing still, unable to spark my creative efforts, I know its time to rest and spend some time just sitting back for awhile. We are off to Door County for a couple of days and I can hardly wait to see American Folk Lore Theater and Peninsula Players Theater. Soaking up The Door is just what the God of creative inspiration has ordered.
